I just used a clip from this movie in today’s sermon message (Ephesians 6:1-4) to talk about honoring your father and mother. That commandment can be a real challenge for adult children who have been exasperated by a parent who failed to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord,” and instead brought them pain and frustration. In “Pay it Forward,” the sub-plot of a mother forgiving her homeless, alcoholic mother is a powerful illustration of how to honor a parent. It doesn’t mean pretending the parent hasn’t failed or ignoring their destructive actions. It doesn’t mean you should necessarily trust them (some parents are not trustworthy), or try to feel affection for them. It means you make an intentional moral choice to treat your parents with dignity and courtesy and loyalty to their best interests. The scene where Arlene (played by Helen Hunt) seeks out her mother (played by Angie Dickinson) to tell her, “I forgive you,” is powerful because Arlene is under no illusions about her alcoholic mother, and yet she offers unconditional love. Tellingly, Arlene’s mother’s name in the film is “Grace.”
I encourage you to watch this movie not only for that scene, but for the overall theme that the One who loves us unconditionally and shows us profound grace can never truly be “paid back,” but we can “pay it forward” to others. Isn’t this what the Lord says will happen when we receive his love and are filled with his Spirit? He becomes in us “a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14), overflowing into the lives of others. “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
